- K : masa si bobon sok inggris bgt, lupa bahasa indonesia. Kmrn nanya ke aing bahasa indonesianya challenge apaan.
- Q : enak aja, lupaaa doang, bingung kata yang sesuainya
- A : gaya bener lu, challenge ya bahasa indonesianya babi hutan
- K+Q : lah kok jd babi hutan?
- A : iya chelleng kan?
Do the bullies never think about the wheels of life? How can a person feel so superior on another while they’re actually not even better?
I read somewhere that every act we take is actually a merely a respond from our own selfishness. Even such a good deed is actually based on our egocentric. I work hard on something, I achieve it, own happiness. I help people, I make people happy, I find my own peacefulness. I struggle not doing something bad, I feel relieve, my own happiness. Turns out all the good things we do are actually coming back to ourselves. This makes the term selfish is rather ambivalent, we seldom notice the positive sides of it.
But when this selfishness takes us to different direction of pleasing oneself, there it goes the ugly part. It is when we tend to believe that our happiness is the most important goal above any other things. We started to choose every kind of way, as long as we feel happy, ignoring how it will affect others. And once they are already lead by their own ego, they forget that actually they are no better than any other humans, and by this misguided thought and desire they consciously start bullying others.
What i meant bully was not only the form of physically harmful acts, but also emotionally. And most of the time we-adult are not aware with this second definition. In adult life this term of bullying is rather obscure, we often do it unconsciously. Im pretty sure we all have been in this kind of situation : hangout with friends, chatting when suddenly one of your friends brought a topic about another person and finally your group ended up teasing his/ her life, laughing. For me it’s just so insane how can a person feel a lot superior and how can they have the feeling to be sure that their life is always be better than the bullied. The are so sure they will always be on top, that the wheel wont be spinning. I just cant accept this way of thinking.
Personally ive never experienced being bullied in my adult life. But ive been in that kind of situation where people talk and tease about others behind their back, I fact i just had the exact experience today. And guess what, all i did were just stay silent and backed off from the conversation. My cowardly act makes me feel that i am no different with them. I hate myself for not being able to stop it. I hate my self for not being able to say what i feel. I hate myself for being silent. And it indeed slapped me so hard that i wish i werent this weak and powerless. Sigh.. i guess this writing is ought to be ended abruptly.
"When was the last time you did something for the first time?
When did you actually do what your first impulse, or that nagging, persistent feeling is asking you to do?
It is easier to stay where you are, do what you know about, be safe, not push. Take the same route, order the same meal, hang out with the same people, do the same job.
But if you do not constantly test your boundaries, you will never find out what you are capable of.
If you always go over where the bar is the lowest, you will never know how high you can jump.”
-cited from the cool hunter
hey there, another procrastinating time again. so i am currently in a not-so-good transition phase where most adults have to deal : searching and questioning the path of life. haha. so lets just begin with a brief summary of how my life has been going this past a year.
after hold that B.Pharm degree, i got into professional program last year, in the same univ (6 years in the same univ is enough, even an elementary student has turned to be a junior highschooler. haha). then i (luckily) passed all of those intricate nerve-wrecking time-consuming sweat-draining a month-long exams, Thank God, i swear it’s a once in a life time experience. and now, here i am, still questioning what i really want to do in my life. lame i know.
that it is human sense, we human tend to not always feel content and always search for something to make them satisfy physically and emotionally. that is why after graduated the burden is getting heavier and heavier. what will i do from now? what can i do for people? will this 6-years-long study be useful? (i know i’m exaggerating that 6 years :p) how can i survive?
what i learn right away after graduated is that life-after-graduation is literally that harsh. i have to be able to accept such rejections and failures. i learn that something that looks good and tempting at the beginning may not that fancy at the end. i have to accept whether i want to stick with my idealism or just give up with the reality. eventually i have to lower my ego, that im just one among 8 billion people in the world, i’m not that significant for most others (well, despite my parents, besties and bf, i hope!). but yeah this things makes me depressed at the first moment, hence i have to get up from the harsh reality.
then i started to think about pursuing a gradschool. why gradschool? curiosity, that’s it. i gotta admit i wasnt really putting my best effort during the undergrad time. but on the last year of college, i started to learn how fascinating human has gone in pharmaceutical research, especially in biotechnology. i want to learn and know more how genes works, how such disease can be determined by gene sequences, how they can modify a single cell to produce something that they dont naturally make, how they can create therapeutic cure based on this, how those fields are really integrated each others. and by doing gradschool, i hope i can learn more and finally be able to apply my knowledge consistenly. Cause i do realize, what i got know is not enough, that the curiosity is keep calling intensely to be satisfied. Socrates once said, the more you know the more you realize you know nothing. I’m not saying that my current uni is not enough though, but maybe we still have to learn from those developed country that knowledge and science should be integrated from all related fields.
Choosing a gradschool overseas is quite an issue for me. Sometimes i feel im not competent enough to compete with those first-world-country students, i’m even too afraid to get in. but i do realize, there’s always the first time of everything. Every wise men were used to be fool, we just have to learn and share. I choose a grad-school not because i’m smart, but i want to study more to feed this curiosity. i have to learn until i feel it’s enough to be shared it to people. In the end, it’s just about our self actualization isnt it? What makes us happy and what can we give to others. I might be sounded a bit egoistic now, but for now i want to learn as much as i can to finally be able to say : i’m expert on this, i can help you.
Last, i do hope my plan goes well. If it’s the right path, please God let me do my part nicely. Bismillah, insha Allah.
ps : i’m currently still on the chasing phase of my plan, i do really hope it goes well. aamiin. wish me luck :-)
Found this nice paragraph for an artist while i was looking for an explanation of the differences between using watercolor and gouache, since i got used to paint with watercolor and now i want to try with gouache. cant wait till the package come on december with my boyfriend as a bonus. yehoo. (well, if you read this boyfriend, you know im just joking) :p
anyhow, sorry for that ADD, here’s the quote :
"Sometimes, however, I’ve already determined I’m going to use gouache and so I have to literally say good bye to lines that I might want to save or showcase. I think this practice makes me a better person. It trains me in the process of letting go, of giving up ego, of confronting humility, of watching what was good disappear only to be replaced by something that isn’t quite up to snuff. All of these (and many other interchanges I’ve left off this short list) are important skills for living. If painting didn’t help me with life I’d probably simply stop painting."
I always believe that painting is good for own peaceful mind. Through painting i learn some wisdom and thoughts about life as well. To learn letting go some mistake, to not be afraid trying something new, to try to explain and what i really think, to not be hesitate and always be sure of what i do, and to always depend on my self on every steps i take.
Whenever i feel the world is too stressful, i can always turn to paint and have a peaceful mind again.
"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.."
-Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Mr. Smith, when asked once about the secret to his success, vehemently stated that it had very little to do with talent.
"You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple, right?”
Inspirational quote from Will Smith i got from Quora.